Domestic Violence is one of three epidemics Across America.

Domestic Violence is considered by many to be one of the three nationwide epidemics. The others are Obesity, and HIV/Aids and not necessarily in that order. Sam has been on a mission for the past 10 years to combat domestic violence. He contributes to education, awareness to create networking opportunities for organizations involved directly with the public who are already impacted more than they realize.

Sam will identify three primary first responders to domestic violence. These responders are identified as; law enforcement, prosecutors, judges, and not necessarily in that order. Another First responder often overlooked is the general public. The public may in fact be the first and only one to discover or have a domestic violence incident reported to them. We must realize that billions of dollars are lost every year due to medical expenses, lost wages, loss of productivity in the work place by employers.

Sam is a state and federally certified instructor in Domestic Violence Training. He has a passion for helping victims of domestic violence and he is on a mission to help first responders understand their role and how important it really is. Domestic Violence is quite misunderstood. It is a crime, and not a family matter and we are all impacted. Let Sam help your organization public or private recognize domestic violence and respond so we will all be safer in the future.

SAM SLAY INTERVIEW BY DAVID WRIGHT OF INSIGHT BOOK PUBLISHING (Excerpted)

Wright

Sam, I know the title of this book is Masters of Success and I think everything our authors think and their combined experiences go into their being successful. I want to get off the business topic for a moment and ask you a question. I know that you believe family violence is a national epidemic. Will you speak to that? Is there anything we can do about it? How bad is it?

Slay

Dr. Peter Sylvester director of the Bay County Health Department told me in his opinion he believed there are three different epidemics in the nation today. These are not in any particular order but he said one of the epidemics was HIV/AIDS, another is obesity, and another is domestic violence.

One of the problems that I see is the “blind-eye syndrome”—the public turning a blind eye to family violence and the thought that it still remains a family matter. It is an international as well as a national concern. Police departments can’t be held accountable for what they don’t know, but they certainly must be held accountable for what is reported to them, what they respond to, and what they investigate. We’ve got to do a better job. The job is not being done.

There are several first responders to domestic violence. They are:

• The general public — individuals who first witness or who are told about a violent situation
• Law enforcement
• State attorneys or district attorneys depending on your region of the country and judges

Overall we don’t do a very good job there. We have the tools. Most states and the federal government have placed tremendous laws on the books to be utilized as tools to protect victims of domestic violence.

The next problem I see is the philosophy of understanding the dynamics of a domestic violence situation. Beyond that, if we can accomplish better response with first responders and create a greater understanding of what’s really going on in the family unit, then and only then can we effectively combat domestic violence.

We tend to think stranger-on-stranger violence is more terrible and family violence is not nearly as bad. Yet we are a country greatly impacted financially, emotionally, and certainly morally by what’s going on in family violence.

Wright

Sam, I know the title of this book is Masters of Success and I think everything our authors think and their combined experiences go into their being successful. I want to get off the business topic for a moment and ask you a question. I know that you believe family violence is a national epidemic. Will you speak to that? Is there anything we can do about it? How bad is it?

Slay

You hit it on the head — that’s a very good question. That’s exactly what is supposed to happen. Law enforcement is supposed to remove the victim as far as necessary from the prosecution. Now, does this mean that if you have a cooperative victim, they shouldn’t be on the witness stand telling the story? No, that’s not at all what I’m saying. More likely than not, through threat, fear, intimidation, or maybe even love for that spouse, they go to court and represent the other party or they try to have the charges dropped. We have the laws on the books, we have the appropriate philosophy, it’s just not being dealt with properly by first responders.

The minute a domestic violence occurs, we should gather all of the evidence we can, because that’s as much evidence as we’re likely to get, and then we should prosecute to the fullest extent of the law without the victim being able to interrupt that process. The example I use is a like that of a homicide victim. The victim there is certainly not able to come to court and testify and so they are excluded from the process because they’re deceased. In the domestic violence situation, we should prosecute and we should do this based on the evidence.

You’re exactly right when you indicate we shouldn’t allow a victim who can’t understand the emotional roller coaster and how to make this stop. As an instructor I am able to explain what’s going on in this environment and why victims don’t want to prosecute. But until people understand, they will continue to think that if a victim wants to they should be allowed to drop charges. This is not like the theft of a piece of property like a John Deere tractor, this is different—it involves an emotional bond and connection between the victim and the offender. When people don’t understand this, I ask them, “How many of you here in the room have made a bad decision based on emotion?” Of course, they all raise their hands. Then I tell them, “Well, there you are.” We’ve done things that we would look at now from a logical and objective standpoint later and think, “I would never do that.” Yes you would—under the right circumstances you would do the very same thing.